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MrAdvice05
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Name: Mister
Country: United Kingdom
Metro: Glasgow
Birthday: 1/11/1900
Gender: Male
Interests: Giving advice.
Expertise: Giving advice and angry rebuttals.
Occupation: Research and development
Industry: Nonprofit
Message: message meEmail: email me
Member Since:
12/1/2004
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| Greetings, dear readers!! It is I, the long-suffering,
long-travelling and long-winded hero of the Four Corners of the Earth,
your wisdom wielder, MR. ADVICE!!
It seems that the members of the Wisdom Council and I are no longer the
only advice advocates in these troubling last days... and they are
certainly no longer ELDERLY!! Behold, I give you young Celso Uomo Marrone.
Little is KNOWN about young Celso, but I am somewhat... SUSPICIOUS of
him. He is strangely familiar to me, in a menacing way.
Alas, I wish no harm on the squirrely squirt, but HEED MY WORDS:
I will be keeping an EYE on this so-called BABY GENIUS!!
Another slinger of sagacity (although financial advice HARDLY counts as
true wisdom to ME... then again, most of you DOLTS probably need it) is
the lovely (albeit a bit STUFFY) Mrs. Breschaff.
I once again find myself at a loss regarding the accountant of
acumen. For that information, you may want to see what Monsieur Cobb has to say about this. I'm not one for gossip, so see the SOURCE!!
Finally, but certainly not least, I bring you my dear old friend and ally in the fight against evil (and Handobaby!!), Lord Dalton B. Churchill, IV!!
Lord
Churchill and I have faced many battles together and even used to
chase the DAMES together back in the '10s... the 1910's!! We're
not THAT old, dear friends!! Lord Churchill, like the previous
three Lord Churchills, has a serious way with the ladies... unlike Lord
Churchill's cousin, the dearly departed WINSTON, bless his SOUL!!
Ladies and dolts, I implore you all to keep your eyes PEELED and your
mouths SHUT, because there is a great deal of wisdom to be DISPENSED to
all of you. If you only receive it, I GUARANTEE your life will be
wholly changed. But be WARNED... don't just take any
advice. Make sure it is WISDOM COUNCIL APPROVED!! I
introduce you to these fellow wisdom-dispensers, but I certainly don't
ENDORSE them!!
My advice: the Wisdom Council (and some... others...) are on the LOOSE;
accept only the best wisdom!! I leave that choice... to
YOU... GOOD DAY!!
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| That is plural for "dunderhead" for all you dunderheadia... but I digress...
GREETINGS dear readers!! It is I, your forlorn friend, tried and true traveler, and all-around aviationally aware amigo... MR. ADVICE!!
As you were all aware, although probably not, you dolts, I was away for a bit, taking a sabatical from all my advice-giving. As I can see, you all suffered for it. Anyway, while on sabatical, I was visited by my good friend Sam Monroe while he was visiting some sort of recruitment organization near my home city of Glasgow, Scotland. I was also visited a few times by his nipple... entirely too CLOSELY, I might add!! What a LOON!!
During my time off, I realized that there were CERTAINLY not enough soothsayers of truth for you morons. I introduce to you... THE WISDOM COUNCIL!!
From the coast of Estonia, I introduce you to Baron Von Visdom!!
 Originally from the hard steets of Brooklyn, he is now settled in a secret location... in Venice, FL. I give you STUDS TURKEL!!  Finally, from South Africa, the anti-aparteid angel, Tappy Cobb!!  Ladies and gentlemen, and all you other dolts, I give you the WISDOM COUNCIL!! Look for them on your Xanga sites soon... VERY SOON INDEED!!
My advice... watch what you all write about... otherwise, wisdom will be coming your way FAST. GOOD DAY!!
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| DEAR READERS!
Prepare your feeble minds~ I shall return soon!
GOOD DAY! | | |
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Greetings, dear readers! It is your favorite advisor in all matters trivial or otherwise, MR. ADVICE!! After my last article, I received this comment from my dear friend, Josh Davis:
That post you are *mocking* is now gone... and I guess I didnt fully explain the situation in proper medical terms... you big goober. If you were that concerned how come you didnt comment about it BACK in OCTOBER....
Watch your back Mr. Advice!
GOOD DAY TO YOU! (Bloody fool)
Two things of note in this comment: 1) Mr. Advice did not comment back in October because he is very busy fighting off DOLTERY!! This, as you should well know, is a full-time job, especially in the Xanga community!! 2) The post I was *mocking* (whatever those astericks bloody well mean) is gone... but why? If the article was only explained improperly, perhaps you should have posted a correction; or was the posting somewhat... misleading? I leave the truth to Joshua and to you, DEAR READERS!!
While I was a little hurt by your name-calling, I will look past this slight... for now. In the meantime, I am glad to see that you had a wonderful time on your trip. I was also happy to see lots of EVIDENCE posted with the tales!! A BOLD move, Joshua!
For now, dear readers, Mr. Advice goes to research ergonomics and how I can build a greater chair... until then... GOOD DAY!! | | |
| Greetings, dear readers! A regular "blasterier from the
posterior," it is I, Mr. Advice! Recently I received a comment
from Joshua Davis. He wrote:
hmm where did ya go?
I hope you didnt die or anything...
~deejay
Well, Joshua... I'm glad you ASKED!! I was doing research on the heart muscle when I stumbled upon your Xanga post:
WEIRD?
I
just came back from the Doc/Hospital... I went in with bad chest pain
and my left arm was almost numb as well as difficulty breathing.
After much
testing and stuff they found out I had pulled a muscle that was
attached to the heart thus making is very painful to do anything... and
making it feel like I was having a mild heart attack....
He
said it was pretty weird and extremely hard to do... almost
impossible... but I had managed to do it. He took lots of documentation
and is going to summit it so some journal... haha... Weird eh?
Weird... weird, indeed!
This article left Mr. Advice INTRIGUED, to say the least. So, to
answer your question, I'm alive and well; AND I've been doing some
research on the heart and I have some good news: your doctor is
WRONG! There are, in fact, NO muscles attached to the heart AT
ALL! To make sure of this, Mr. Advice asked four different
medical professionals, just to make sure. All of them said that
there are NO muscles attached to the heart WHATSOEVER!!
Additionally, the Texas Heart Institute states:
Your
heart is located between your lungs in the middle of your chest, behind
and slightly to the left of your breastbone (sternum). A double-layered
membrane called the pericardium surrounds your heart like a sac. The
outer layer of the pericardium surrounds the roots of your heart's
major blood vessels and is attached by ligaments to your spinal column,
diaphragm, and other parts of your body. The inner layer of the
pericardium is attached to the heart muscle. A coating of fluid
separates the two layers of membrane, letting the heart move as it
beats, yet still be attached to your body.
No mention of heart muscles
there, either! You, sir, should ask your HMO to provide you with
another doctor, as the one you went to is a QUACK! Additionally,
whatever medical journal he's sending your case to must be an utter
SHAM and you should track down that documentation immediately!!
So, good news, dear friend!
You can go back to your extracurricular activities with no worries of
pulling any heart muscles. Activities such as "Install(ing) 6 tons (18 pieces) of limestone steps by hand (long story)."
Yes, sir, you will once again be able to move 667 lbs. of stone (12,000
lbs./18 pieces) ALL BY YOURSELF, with no fear of hurting muscles in
your body that don't exist.
My advice... be careful what you write about; someone might be reading. GOOD DAY!!
PS
Thanks so much for your concern... rest assured, as long as you are on
Xanga, Mr. Advice will be alive and well. GOOD DAY!!
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